god damn it

I am not pleased.

the first christmas gig of the season

A few observations...



1. Ah, sound shields. I love watching the woodwind players carefully construct their little plexiglass barricades to protect from the deadly onslaught of brass.

2. Lyrics. For the Nutcracker. What.

3. Was there a time when Mannheim Steamroller was cool?

4. One industrious woodwind player had procured two shields; one behind the chair and one to the side for maximum protection. I would be more sympathetic if we were, like, Chicago. However, this is not a loud brass section.

5. There is no reason for "Angels We Have Heard On High" to be in 7/8. It is not clever. Nor is it hip.

6. Sometimes if you pick a particularly tedious and repetitive piece of music, your trombone section will start to switch between regular and alternate positions, just for the hell of it.

7. How much good does it do to raise a shield to full height and then put it in front of a tuba with a bell that points upwards? Is someone confused about the physics of sound?

8. Is it a bad sign if your trumpet section is so bored that they briefly trade instruments mid-concert for no apparent reason? (This wouldn't be as big a deal, except that one of them played a Monette.)

9. I understand the word "Hanukkah" and I understand the word "calypso" but when you put them together suddenly it makes no sense.

10. A few of us agreed that the performance could only be made complete with a smoke machine. And maybe lasers.


Because this was a paid gig, I'm letting it off easy (as those that have heard my Nutcracker rant can attest).