it's probably quantum

My practice sessions are beginning to warp the fabric of space and time.

Lately I've been starting at about 2PM with the Breathing Gym. This takes me about an hour. If I had the book I could probably make it shorter, but sadly all I have is the dorktastic DVD. (Slightly irrelevant: is it weird for someone to knit while doing breathing exercises? Or is it just multitasking?)

I've been using this warm-up lately. Supposedly if you pick and choose your exercises it should take about 30 minutes. I probably picked and chose a few too many, and then I started "supplementing" it with other exercises that I've picked up here and there. It now takes me an hour and a half. I have no idea how this happened. I'm counting it as fundamentals work.

I don't know exactly how long I spend on scales, because I usually whip through them as quickly as possible to keep my quality of life from degrading too rapidly work on my technique. 15-20 minutes? Then there's my daily Rochut, where I do the whole "as written/8vb/tenor clef/tenor clef 15vb" rigmarole. This should take me 30 minutes, except that I'm working from book 2 now and so it's more like an hour. (Some etudes are pages long. What the hell? I'm afraid to even consider getting book 3.)

I've been doing the tone exercise from the Vernon book every other day, which is half an hour. On alternate days I started doing some exercises from this routine (mainly the Schlossberg-related slow slurs) for endurance purposes. (I shamelessly stole this idea from a friend.) I haven't decided how many to do yet... last time I stopped after an hour had gone by.

I try to spend some time on solos and/or excerpts. You know, actual music? However, at some point I look at the clock and realize that it's almost 8PM and I'd better wrap it up because my stepfather's mother will be going to bed and I don't have it in me to keep playing while a 97-year-old woman tries to sleep. So where did that six hours go? Sure, there are breaks between practice sessions (I've started to use pain as an indicator again. Not smart). Yes, I do have to stop for dinner because apparently I have to eat on a regular basis or something. Still, either I regularly devote six hours to this and still don't have enough time to play any real music, or time flows differently when I pick up my trombone. I'm not ruling either explanation out.

Starting earlier in the day might be helpful... or I might just continue to add on more and more routines until I die. Or I could try and accept that there's no way for me to practice everything I want to work on every day. I think we all know that's not going to happen.

At least I have my instrument back. It was in the shop for a week. A stressful, anxious, highly despondent week.

I think we can all agree that I have some issues.